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Archive for September, 2009

Dodger vs. Dbaggs

As anyone of my Facebook friends can attest, I spent the majority of last night staring at a celebrity’s back at the Dodgers game.  They played the Diamond back’s…such a boring team I don’t care if I spell their name right, and such a boring game that the highlights were this man’s back and a hobby shop airplane that was tossed from the upper decks and flew above the field for about three minutes…

Can you tell who it was?

Can you tell who it was?

I knew who it was right away, my buddy Todd didn’t believe me until I yelled out, “Look, there goes Johnny Ringo!” He turned back to us, scowled and said, “You tell Johnny Ringo I’m coming after him and I’m bringing Hell with me!” Yup, we were within scowling distance from Wyatt Earp himself, Kurt Russell…pretty impressive, and I can tell you this about the man: he likes peanuts, can go to a ball game and drink only one beer, stays untill the last out, and doesn’t spend his money on shoes. No matter how long I live in LA or how many celebrities I meet I still get butterflies when I see them in person, they are like dolphins at the beach. It consumed my night, so much so that the rest of the game we spent pointing out celebrity close calls, “Hey, isn’t that Micheal Moore sitting with the guy from Apocalypto…my bad, it’s just a guy with his wife, but seriously I’m pretty positive that that is Delroy Lindo sitting two rows in front of them with Monique.” (I will definitely be playing this game by myself at the fair this weekend) At the end of the night, eyes swollen and breathing shallowed from the wild fires 100 yards away from center field, we parted ways with Kurt by saying absolutely nothing…I’m pretty sure he started recognizing me by the seventh inning and it was getting weird.

I’m home for the next week (LA COUNTY FAIR), Richmond Funnybone the week after, and if I’m not mistaken, in production the week after next….That’s right everybody The B-Man should be gracingyou TV’s very shortly. I can’t exactly tell you what, where, and when because the deal hasn’t officially closed yet but I can give you two hints…
Albert Charles Kreischer III